Perigee Bookmarks

Brazilian Sexy: Secrets to Living a Gorgeous and Confident Life

Posted by author Martha Frankel (www.marthafrankel.com)

 

To get to my bedroom you have to walk down a long hallway, which is covered from floor to ceiling with photos.  You know the kind, mostly snapshots of friends and family; weddings and holidays, but also the dogs when they were puppies, my house before even one daffodil grew in the gardens, friends with bellies out to there and then, in what seems like a nano-second, their kids graduating from grammar- and then high-school. I have one rule about the wall; once a picture is stapled up there, it stays forever. 

 

Every part of that wall should make me feel good.  I am surrounded by people I love, and who love me back.  My life is full and, for the most part, happy.  But if I stand there long enough, I start to think about taking down this photo or that one, the ones that clearly show me looking too fat, or with a bad haircut or color, or with an outfit that makes me look idiotic (that pink metallic shirt again!).

 

And then I met Janea Padilha.

 

Janea owns the J Sister Salon in midtown Manhattan.  She is the self-described inventor of the Brazilian wax.

 

Janea is the most self-confident woman I have ever been around.  She is street smart and generous, and knows so much that you start to think of her as a cross between Dear Abby and a Jedi Master. For instance, Janea taught me how to put on eyeliner by laying a mirror on the bed and leaning over it, so you never squint and the line is always perfect.  She taught me how to walk around on a day I don’t feel my best by pretending everyone else in the world is blind.  She showed me how to dress with style.  And then she gave me some great sex tips.  And this was only our first meeting.

 

Janea’s clients adore her, and go to her for not only waxings but the sort of therapy that only someone whose life is full of women can impart.  Janea tells them to have sex with their husbands more often or not at all; she teaches them how to really mourn so they can on with their lives; she shows them how to dress for their age and when to show skin and when to cover up.

 

I look at those photos in a different way since working with Janea on Brazilian Sexy: Secrets to Living a Gorgeous and Confident Life.

 

I am standing taller, and am less willing to make myself the butt of a joke.  I don’t think that my life will only start when I lose ten pounds or start a more intense workout program.  Janea has taught me that being sexy comes from within… and having a Brazilian doesn’t hurt, either!

 

Martha Frankel is the co-author of Brazilian Sexy and the author of the memoir Hats and Eyeglasses.

 

Brazilian Sexy

goes on sale April 6.

The Surprisingly Simple Secret to Solving Everything

Posted by author Lisa Earle McLeod (www.TriangleofTruth.com)

 

Either/or thinking is the bane of human existence.   Whether it’s business, politics or relationships, either/or thinking dumbs down pretty much everything. 

 

Whether it’s an interdepartmental turf war or a marital debate about the best way to load the dishwasher, the moment we descend into an either/or, I’m-right-so-you-must-be-wrong-mindset, is very the moment we lose the opportunity to create anything better than what we’ve already got.

 

Either/or thinking is easy to spot in others. Who hasn’t been frustrated by a black/white thinker who refuses to see any perspective except his own?

 

Yet many of us fall into the either/or trap ourselves, without even realizing it. Like when we believe that the boss must either side with us or with our crazy co-worker who doesn’t understand the big picture.  Or when we assume that we have to choose between being a good parent or being a good provider, or that our lives can be organized around either love or money. 

 

Instead of thinking in terms of either/or, we’d be better off if we could embrace AND.

 

F. Scott Fitzgerald once said, “The test of a first rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time, and still retain the ability to function.”

Mary Kay did it when she combined selling and nurturing to create a cosmetics empire.

 

Apple does it when they combine creativity with discipline to out-innovate everyone else in the world.

And our Founding Fathers combined the seemingly competing ideals of freedom and responsibility to forge a bold new nation.

 

The ability to assimilate conflicting ideas has been the invisible underpinning behind some of the greatest advances of all time.  In the abstract, most of us would agree that bringing conflicting perspectives can create a better whole.  But what sounds good in theory isn’t always easy to practice.

 

That’s why I wrote a book about it, The Triangle of Truth -- to present strategies for dealing with the either/or thinkers of the world, and how to harness the power of AND in conflicts great and small. 

 

The Triangle of Truth is a model that draws on wisdom from the past, and points us in a new direction for the future.  Because, you see, our differences aren’t really the problem; it’s our inability to manage them.  Conflict can actually be a catalyst for creativity.

There are three basic responses to conflict: 

 

Stalemate - Either/or thinking 101.  Both sides believe they’re right, nobody gives and inch and nothing gets done.  (Sound familiar?)

Compromise – A kinder, gentler approach, but it’s really just either/or thinking in disguise, because it’s predicated on the belief that we can’t have both ideals, so we have to whittle away at them. Compromise isn’t sustainable over the long haul because it waters down our best ideas and it breeds resentment and contempt (as anyone who’s been forced to compromise will attest).

Innovation - The Thomas Jefferson, John Adams, Mary Kay, Apple model in which leaders say, “We’re not going to choose between our ideals, we’re going to combine them, and we’re going to create something amazing.  

 

The Triangle of Truth model is simple, but it’s not easy. Yet for people and organizations who are willing to wade through the messy process of assimilating seemingly conflicting perspectives, the sky’s the limit.

Conflict doesn’t have to hold us back.  If we learn to manage it, conflict itself can challenge us to achieve greatness.

 

Lisa Earle McLeod is an nationally syndicated newspaper columnist, business consultant and inspirational thought-leader.

 

 

 

The Triangle of Truth is on sale now.

Harnessing the Power of Personalized Learning

Posted by author Ana Homayoun (www.anahomayoun.com)

 

Recently, I was in the check-out line at my neighborhood grocery store when I noticed an ingenious sign: “For faster service, please empty your basket.” Over the years, I've seen signs that read “Please empty basket,” but this new version gives customers an incentive – after all, who wants to wait in line any longer than necessary? A classic win-win solution. The customer gets faster service, and the clerks and store managers have a more streamlined checkout process.

 

This type of win-win approach is central to my work as an academic counselor working with high school students who are often “organizationally challenged.” Parents and educators are often dumb-founded when I inspire a seemingly unenthused pre-teen or adolescent into creating organized binders, writing in planners, and just generally being more proactive.

 

As I often tell students, adopting better organizational and time-management skills are steps in the journey to help them get wherever they want to go and follow whatever passions they dream to pursue. Why wouldn’t they want to get their homework done faster, and better, so they were more able to pursue whatever passions their heart desires?

 

Instead of spending forty-five minutes trying to find out what the homework assignment is (by calling a classmate, texting a friend, checking the often incorrect school website or sending smoke signals to a distant acquaintance) the student with the assignment written down in a planner would be done with it and on to something more fun or meaningful -- going for a run, enjoying some quality Wii time, mastering those Eric Clapton guitar solos, or whatever else he or she is passionate about. In another familiar scenario, instead of completing a homework assignment and then losing it – which every student in my last workshop admitted to doing at least once in the past six months – getting organized would help them always know where their homework is, and avoid that dreaded pit-in-the-stomach, I-spent-an-hour-on-that-assignment-but-am-about-to-get-a-zero feeling.

 

Whenever I pose these scenarios to students, they nod knowingly and get a little wide-eyed. I can tell it has suddenly dawned on them that there are BENEFITS to being more organized! This will actually HELP THEM!

In the news, we often hear studies citing how students, especially boys, are falling behind in school, dropping out of high school at alarming rates, and not graduating from college. In my office, we see boys and girls who were previously overwhelmed  be transformed by the simple act of someone listening to what their personal dreams and aspirations are, and then helping them get on the path to those dreams, whether it involves improving their grades, finding a summer job, or developing their artistic talents. Often it’s the personal goals that drive the academic ones. By listening more to our students, we can encourage the development of their own intrinsic motivation and engage them in the process of becoming more enthused learners and contributors to society as a whole.

 

A few weeks ago, New York Times reporter Winnie Hu wrote a piece (http://www.nytimes.com/2010/03/01/education/01schools.html) on the personalized learning plans that sixth graders at Linwood Middle School in North Brunswick, NJ, are charting for themselves – as Hu notes, “electronic portfolios containing information about their learning styles, interests, skills, career goals and extracurricular activities.” These personalized portfolios are a wonderful way for students to start to see the win-win in becoming more actively involved with their educational experience.

 

Of course, career plans and personal interests can change over time, but the earlier we allow children to dream and develop their own aspirations, the more likely we are to get them engaged in their own learning process and feel they have a reason to be pursuing their educational opportunities to the best of their abilities.  When parents and educators work to promote more personalized learning, they empower and inspire students to work to their personal potential. Which is a win-win for everyone.

 

 

Ana Homayoun's That Crumpled Paper Was Due Last Week is on sale now.

Who Are You? What Do You Want?

Posted by author Robert Lorber

 

My passion for life planning began on the University of California at Davis campus many years ago.  By going on a retreat for a couple of days I completely changed my career direction and never looked back. I have had a great journey and am so grateful to the teachers who introduced me to this wonderful process of self-reflection.

 

As I recently crossed the Davis campus (where I am now a faculty member), I ran into one of my students, Susan. She was eager to share her excitement following a personal retreat she took, using the book I wrote with Mick Ukleja, Who Are You? What Do You Want?

 

She talked about asking herself the key personal questions that form the backbone of the book:

 

Who are you and what do you want?

Where are you and why are you there?

What will you do and how will you do it?

Who are your allies and how can they help?

 

She declared, “I have given myself an invaluable gift.” (The gift is taking the time for genuine self-reflection and personal planning.)  She went on to say, “As I went through all the questions, some significant course corrections became obvious and I am now able to make better decisions on what I want to do with my career.”

 

Around the same time that I ran into Susan, one of my clients, Tom, decided to resign after many years as CEO of a very large company. We had been working together using Who Are You? What Do You Want? as a guide. Making a life change is a very scary process for most of us, and it takes a lot of guts and insight to leave a job like Tom’s. He came back from his own personal retreat with not only a lot of ideas about what he wanted to do, but, more important, with a new clarity about the things that are important to him. The four questions were his key to unlocking a hopeful future.

 

There are so many people who find themselves stuck and can’t figure out how to make a change, what direction to go, or where to turn for help. But it’s been my personal experience—and that of thousands of others—that asking these vital questions is the first and most valuable step anyone can take.

 

Who Are You? What Do You Want? is on sale now.

Liberated from the Tyranny of Grammar

Posted by John Duff

 

I recently got a note from my 15-year-old nephew to thank me for a present. Of course, I was impressed that he’d handwritten a card, especially since I know what an agony it is for him to write anything given his long-standing struggle with dysgraphia.

 

Aside from the thanks for the gift, which he is banking to save for something special, he wrote, “I just had my english (sic) exam today and I had to learn proper grammar. After learning grammar I hope I never have to use it again as it makes writing extremely unpleasant. It’s like telling someone how to paint—it stifles my creativity.”

 

This is a kid who’s been writing (on the computer) on and off for years. When he was 9 or 10 he was crafting Star Wars-inspired adventures and, to be honest, his command of “proper grammar” even then was better than most adults. Still, it seems that as he’s gotten further along in school, he’s feeling that the rules and regulations associated with the written word are starting to make this exercise of writing unpleasant.” (Such a genteel word for a 21^st century teenager.)

 

But what I hope he will come to understand is that by having a decent command of grammar, he will, in fact, be liberated. He will know how to express himself in a way that readers will understand – assuming that his readers share a basic knowledge of the meaning of words and punctuation. Perhaps most important, he will have credibility with his readers because he knows the rules—subjects will agree with verbs, punctuation will make the text flow as it is meant to, and so on. And if he chooses to break the rules for purposes of personal expression, his readers will recognize that and appreciate what he is trying to do.

 

His reference to “telling someone how to paint” reminded me of a visit to the Picasso Museum in Barcelona when I first recognized what a superb craftsman the artist was. His early work showed a precocious command of the fundamentals of drawing and painting. It was evident that his “creativity” was not stifled by the rules but, rather, was grounded in the mastery of technique. Because he knew the rules, his later—might one say, more creative—work was all that much more impressive.

 

In the very amusing and informative book Literally, the Best Language Book Ever, Paul Yeager writes, “Daily conversations are so overstuffed with words and phrases that are trite, trendy, grammatically incorrect, inane, outdated, or inappropriately informal that listening is sometimes impossible.”

 

I don’t want my nephew to be a slave to grammar—or, in his later years, become a grammar snob. Grammar should be his servant. If he treats it with respect, he will get the most out of it. And in turn, people will find it more than possible to listen. They will, in fact, enjoy what he has to say because they don’t have to slog through poor grammar, erratic punctuation, and bad spelling.

 

In a few years, when the pain of memorizing grammar rules and punctuation is a fading scar on his psyche, I may send him a copy of Yeager’s book along with So You Think You Can Spell? by David Grambs and Ellen Levine. But right now, both those books would seem too much like homework!

 

In the meantime, his birthday present this year will include a copy of Keri Smith’s Wreck This Journal. Since he’s already determined to break the rules, Keri’s book is a perfect interactive exploration of that place—like a teenager’s bedroom—where creativity and destruction meet.  

 

Literally, the Best Language Book Ever

 

 

 

 

 

So You Think You Can Spell? 

 

 

 

 

 

Wreck This Journal

Don't Go Changing

Posted by author Jesse Saperstein

 

I recently logged on to Facebook and discovered the format of the popular social networking site had been radically altered.  Along with my hundreds of Tweeter/Twitter/Whatever-obsessed “friends” (one fourth of whom I do not even know), I griped aloud about the changes.  “I liked the way it was before.  Why did they have to fix what was not even broken?” 

 

I expressed the exact same grievance the very next day upon hearing the dreaded news that the American Psychiatric Association is planning to drop the term Asperger’s syndrome (AS) from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.  When the DSM-V is released in a few years, Asperger’s syndrome will be erased from the manual and incorporated into the umbrella term “autism spectrum disorder.”  I will eventually grow used to and maybe even appreciate the new Facebook changes.  I highly doubt the same will ever be true of the DSM-V.

 

This change is not only disrespectful to Hans Asperger (the Austrian pediatrician who gave individuals like myself a voice), but would also wreak havoc on a community affected by the mildest, most misunderstood form of autism. 

 

I was diagnosed in 1996 at age fourteen, after years of incorrect diagnoses and the relentless efforts of my parents to find answers.  Like many people with Asperger’s syndrome, I have struggled with doomed first impressions, chronic misunderstandings, and, yes, difficulty with change. Since graduating from college, I have had a string of short-lived, usually disastrous jobs (group-home employee, night-shift factory worker, assistant funeral director, substitute teacher). A member of the neurotypical (non-Asperger’s) community would only have to attend a support group meeting of the Global and Regional Asperger’s Syndrome Partnership (GRASP), Inc., to find abundant evidence that the stigma has not gone away.  Many GRASP members have struggled for acceptance in spite of their talents (usually an astonishing skill connected with a particular special interest). 

 

Slowly, things are getting better.  My story is an example of what can happen when people give someone like me a chance.  My first book—Atypical: Life with Asperger’s in 20 1/3 Chapters—is being released in April with complimentary advance reviews from individuals like Sigourney Weaver and Dr. Temple Grandin.  Regardless of what the DSM-V claims in 2012, I will continue to tell people, “I have a condition known as Asperger’s syndrome.”  And I have no doubt that most of my peers will continue to do the same.  The term is becoming more recognized in the neurotypical community, and it seems to work.  Why change it?

 

 

 

Atypical goes on sale April 6

The Doodler's Dilemma

Posted by Christina Lundy

 

I started my publishing career at an interesting time.  Only a few months after being trained to make a copy of nearly every piece of paper that crossed my desk, I found myself doing almost everything electronically.  Between scanners and email and portable computers, I am at the point where I don’t even need paper to do my job…at a book publishing company.  It has made things simpler and more streamlined, and it’s great for the environment.

 

I have to admit, though, that as much as I love trees, I really love paper.  When I was growing up I wanted to open my own stationery store.  I could spend an hour looking at all of the notebooks, and I spent hours more writing and drawing and doodling in them.  A blank sheet of paper in a new notebook (I now prefer the recycled variety) still gives me the kind of nerdy thrill an empty white screen could never match.

   

But now, with my desk almost completely bare (except for a notepad to jot lists and the occasional doodle), I can’t help but wonder if we’ll use paper for anything.  People are already typing grocery lists and other notes into their phones.  As electronic readers become more pervasive, it’s possible that a newspaper and pen won’t be handy by the phone—could this be the beginning of the end for the lowly doodle?

   

I don’t think so.  The doodle, like everything else, will surely transform, but until then I’ll still have pen and paper handy while I’m thinking something through.  And for the rest, who are pushing bytes instead of paper, there’s also our recently released Doodle While You Work.  Flip it open to any page, and give your eyes a break from the screen.

 

 

Doodle While You Work is on sale now.

The Value of “Useless” Information

Posted by Jeanette Shaw

Growing up I was a voracious reader, as I imagine most future editors are. Anything I could get my hands on—magazines, encyclopedias, Baby-sitters Club books, my aunt’s romance novels—was fodder for the imagination. And even though much of what I read wasn’t exactly literary (unless assigned something for class), I learned enough from even the strangest sources to become a fount of random facts. I regularly beat my mother when we played along with “Jeopardy!” in front of the television. My nickname in fifth grade was “know-it-all,” which I accepted with pride rather than embarrassment. By the time I arrived, all grown up, at Perigee, I figured even if I didn’t know it all, I knew enough.

 

The first book I worked on at Perigee was a trivia book called The Book of Useless Information. Frankly I was slightly dismayed that this was to be my first book on the imprint’s list. After all, it was just a novelty; a one-off gag for people to give at Christmas to people they don’t know very well. Not exactly an inspiring project.

 

But the book was entertaining. More than that, it was fascinating. The facts were quirky, funny, and enlightening. Did I really need to know the most common name for a pet goldfish? (Jaws.) Or how much ham was on the Titanic when it sank? (Seventy-five hundred pounds.)  Of course not! But it sure was fun finding out these things anyway. And readers across the country agreed. The book hit the top of the New York Times bestseller list, with the paper calling it “brisk and groovy.” The head of a prominent cardiology center wrote to express his enjoyment (and to correct a few niggling typos—doctors!). A student from Texas wrote, “Your books are one of the few things that bring a smile to the frowning face of humanity.” Many titles later the series is still going strong, with the seventh book, The Perfectly Useless Book of Useless Information, on sale in May.

 

So besides great sales, what has all this useless information gotten me? Well for one thing I’m a hit at bar trivia. But beyond that, even the most random factoid has encouraged me to want to learn more. These books may have told me how long it would take to drive a car to the center of our galaxy (221,000 million years if going 100 miles per hour), but that was only the inspiration for me to seek out even more knowledge about how galaxies are formed, the different types that exist, and how scientists are constantly striving to learn even more about the universe. Will this information come in handy in my everyday life? Doubtful. But it’s never a waste of time to discover just how awe-inspiring the world really is.

 

So useless information may seem frivolous, but the moniker is deceiving. Knowledge is power, and any book that inspires and encourages curiosity can never truly be called useless.

 

The Perfectly Useless Book of Useless Information

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Book of Useless Information

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Best Book of Useless Information Ever

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Ultimate Book of Useless Information

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Amazing Book of Useless Information

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Essential Book of Useless Information

 

 

 

 

 

 

The World's Greatest Book of Useless Information

 

The Brunch Bunch

Posted by author Lisa Barnes (www.petitappetit.com)

Editor’s note:

With this severe winter finally starting to wind down, it’s almost time to restart one of my favorite nice-weather traditions – the Sunday brunch. New York City is bursting at the seams with fantastic brunch locales, and it’s my intention to eat at every one! But for those who want to enjoy brunch even in the chilly months, or who find venturing out to leisurely weekend brunches difficult with a family, Perigee author Lisa Barnes has great suggestions for creating your own delicious, nutritious brunch at home. Find even more healthy and tasty recipes for home, work, play, or parties in her books, Petit Appetit: Eat, Drink, and Be Merry and The Petit Appetit Cookbook.

Bon appétit!

-Jeanette Shaw

 

When it was just me and my husband, we went out to dinner and hosted dinner parties quite often on the weekends.  Wining and dining was our social activity of choice to catch up with friends and family and discover new restaurants and recipes.  Flash forward a few years and two children later and our social activity of choice for sharing recipes and visiting with friends and family, has become brunch.  Whether it’s a special occasion holiday gathering, or a simple Sunday with friends, brunch is a great way to celebrate the everyday.

Brunch is leisurely and allows for more family friendly timing than other times of day, avoiding worry about bedtime, soccer games, and other obligations.  It’s a chance for the family (kids and adults) to spend time and play together.  Sometimes asking children to come together for a meal (no matter what time of day) without any form of activity or play is too difficult.  This is especially true if they’re going to see other children their age.  Knowing they can play after or before eating, either in the house or park or other destination, seems to relax them so they will eat and enjoy brunch.

Brunch is also great for menu planning.  There are many dishes that can be made ahead so you can enjoy your company.  There’s also a wide variety of foods, looking at both breakfast and lunch options, that appeal to all ages.  When having kids at brunch (or really any meal) I like to have something they can put together themselves.  Whether it’s spreading bagels with cream cheese, making a yogurt parfait, or decorating fruit faces on pancakes, kids like to be creative and involved.  And if the kids are not already familiar with everyone at the table, it’s a fun ice breaker to get to know and laugh with each other.

With all the inclement weather this winter we’ve had quite a few brunches, aka playdates, with my son’s new kindergarten friends and their families.  We’ve been fine tuning the brunch menu, and here are the favorites right now.  As you’ll notice these are all great menu items for any time of day.  And most of these ingredients are pantry and refrigerator staples (eggs, milk, cheese, yogurt, bagels) to prepare quickly and easily:

· Savory Bread Pudding if making ahead, or a simple egg and vegetable scramble made just before eating.

· Platter of smoked salmon, cream cheese, and capers, with a basket of mini bagels and English muffins.

· Arugula salad with avocado and toasted almonds with balsamic vinaigrette.

· Maple yogurt over mixed seasonal fruit, and topped with granola or Energy Bark (recipe follows).

· Juice sparklers (bubble water with a splash of juice) for kids, and mimosas for adults.

 

Energy Bark

(from Petit Appetit: Eat, Drink, and Be Merry)

Inspired by a Parents Magazine recipe, this snack gives a boost of fuel to keep up with busy children. This is a favorite around my house because of the great crunchy texture and sweet flavor. Feel free to omit or substitute your favorite crunchy cereal for the almonds if you want to avoid nuts. Once thoroughly cooled, let children help break apart.

Makes about 3 cups; 14 servings

1 cup rolled oats

1 cup slivered almonds

½ cup unsweetened coconut flakes

¼ cup toasted wheat germ

2 tablespoons whole wheat flour

¼ teaspoon ground cinnamon

¼ cup packed brown sugar

3 tablespoons organic unsalted butter

2 tablespoons honey or agave nectar (do not feed honey to baby under 1 year)

 

Preheat oven to 325 degrees F. Line a baking sheet with aluminum foil. In a large bowl, mix together the oats, almonds, coconut, wheat germ, flour and cinnamon.

    In a small saucepan, combine the brown sugar, butter, and honey. Bring to a boil over medium heat and cook until thick and bubbly, 30 seconds. Pour the sugar mixture over oat mixture and stir with a rubber spatula to combine and coat all dry ingredients.

    Spread on foil-lined baking sheet and bake for 20 minutes. Remove pan from oven and let cool completely on baking sheet. Break into pieces.

 

Petit Appetit: Eat, Drink, and Be Merry

 

 

 

 

The Petit Appetit Cookbook