It’s Not About You!

Posted by author Gayle Rosenwald Smith

 

Mel Gibson—Britney Spears and Kevin Federline—Sandra Bullock and Jesse James…

 

The only difference between celebrity divorce and us regular folk is generally the public nature of the battle and the dollar amounts involved in the property settlement. The expletives used when arguing, the hatred, the desire to get rid of the other parent are sadly the norm when it comes to splitting.

 

Unfortunately, there are few custody battles where parents actually focus on the children and their needs. One thing people need to realize:

 

It’s not about you!

 

For those of you who choose to split, remember:

 

1. Focus on the child’s needs.

Kids don’t ask to be put in this position. Every child wants to have a loving relationship with his or her father and mother. You may have chosen to dissolve the marriage. Short of proven child abuse, every child deserves to have a relationship with each parent without interference from the other.

 

2. Get help.

Get whatever psychological help you may need to ease you into the transition and future life for yourself and the child.

 

3. Don’t use your child as a pawn.

You may want more child or spousal support. However, using a child as a weapon in this battle is a losing proposition. Don’t look at your child as a means to get money. Your child will resent you in the end.

 

4. Learn something from celebrities.

Everyone looks to the rich and famous as “the good life.” Maybe we need to learn from their behavior. Since everything they do is public, look at their behavior as the role model of how not to act. Or in those cases where the rich and famous set a good example, take note.

 

5. Never treat your child as your best friend to confide in and party with.

You are the adult.

 

6. Never say bad things about the other parent to your child.

Judges do not like it when one parent speaks ill of the other or brainwashes a child. Children don’t like to hear negative things about the other parent. Mudslinging can cause problems later in life with adult relationships. Remember: Even if you are thinking derogatory things, don’t say them.

 

7. If you start dating again, keep your social life separate.

If the relationship becomes serious, make introductions at that time. Children do not need to meet every person with whom you have a date.

 

Use common sense and everyone will be happier.

 

 

What Every Woman Should Know About Divorce and Custody by Gayle Rosenwald Smith and Sally Abrahms

Comments

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I have always liked Sandra Bullock, but I was surprised by recent reports that she is the highest paid actress in Hollywood. Ok, some of her movies are quite funny, but a the same time I often feel like she plays the same character over and over again.