Posted by author Lisa Earle McLeod
“Why do Congressmen say such mean things about each other? We’re not allowed to act like that in my school. My teacher helped us come up with rules about respecting each other and not calling each other names. Why don’t you all have rules like that?”
He was only ten years old, but his question made the Congressman squirm.
His name is Colynne. He and his mother were part of a group of private citizens who flew to Washington, D.C. with me to meet with several members of Congress.
How did a group of business people, parents, and kids wind up sitting down with members of Congress?
It started with the 2004 election.
It was Bush versus Kerry and, like so many of our elections, it was extremely polarizing. At the time I was part of two groups, one very conservative and one very liberal.
Because both groups considered me a like-minded peer, they spoke freely about the other side. I got to hear their unfiltered assessment of “those people” who don’t share our values and who don’t care about our country the way we do. Both sides were equally self-righteous and judgmental.
The “I’m right so you must be wrong” mentality had become our default. I came to realize that this wasn’t a politics problem; it was a people problem.
I knew there had to be a better way.
So I spent the next five years researching the world’s greatest problem solvers, people like Albert Einstein, Thomas Jefferson, and John Adams. I dissected conflict after conflict to identify which behaviors enabled people to solve their problems and which behaviors kept them stuck.
The result: The Triangle of Truth: The Surprisingly Simple Secret To Resolving Conflicts Large and Small. It provides seven Best Practices for solving problems.
I got the idea from watching politics. But I didn’t write it for members of Congress, I wrote it for everyday people to help them become more successful at work and in life.
But as I did workshops for businesses, politics kept coming up.
That’s where Colynne come in. His mother is client of mine. She runs a major sales organization. After I did a program for her team, she took a copy of the book home, where her son read it.
Flash forward a few weeks, and Colynne is asking his mother if he can go to Washington to give a copy of The Triangle of Truth to his Congressman because “I think he could really use it.”
From that point forward events seem to take on a life of their own:
- People start a Facebook Group: The Book That Will Fix Congress.
- Perigee publisher John Duff agrees to donate copies of The Triangle of Truth.
- Several newspapers run stories about it and private citizens—Republicans and Democrats—come forward offering to pay their own way to D.C. to hand deliver the books to every member of the House & Senate.
- My father, a 75-year-old Navy veteran, says he’d like to come with us, lending an element of patriotism.
- My Congressman—Rob Woodall—offers to host the group and provides his office as a staging area for the cases of books.
- People start writing and calling their Congressmen and Senators.
- The week before we leave, The Washington Post picks The Triangle of Truth as a top 5 book for leaders.
- Our group is able to get appointments with members and their Chief’s of Staff.
That’s how Colynne and I, along with my Dad, my daughter, and an assorted group of citizens ended up meeting with members of Congress.
We had one goal: Get Congress to establish best practices for restoring civility. As a business consultant, I know that talk is cheap. But when you establish best practices, you’re forced to hold each other accountable.
During our trip last month, we met with more than 100 congressional officers. Colynne and the team made such an impression that the 16 Republican and Democratic Congressmen who represent Georgia have agreed to call a meeting of the Georgia Caucus to discuss the issue.
If a ten year old and a group of private citizens can get leaders from both sides of the aisle to come together to talk about civility, who knows what might happen next?
Are we done? No, we’re just getting started. If you want Congress to stop fighting and start solving problems, join the Facebook group.
Be sure to check out the pictures of Colynne with all the Congressmen. Trust me, you’ll see those faces again.
Lisa Earle McLeod is the President of McLeod & More, Inc. an international training and consulting firm and author of The Triangle of Truth: The Surprisingly Simple Secret To Resolving Conflicts Large and Small (Penguin 2010) www.triangleoftruth.com
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